viernes, 10 de diciembre de 2010

This former president is completely bat-guano insane

I've found out power is sort of a make-up kit. When you have it, no matter how angry, stupid, inconsequential or belligerent you act, you can still look sorta cool. One of the perks of being the alpha male. When you don't, you're just a screaming, pathetic nobody. Have you ever seen in a crowded meeting some mature man past his prime trying to grab all the attention and still trying to be relevant? You force a little smile and try to walk away backwards, slowly, very slowly...

This lame behavior has been the trademark of former Colombian president Alvaro Uribe Vélez for the last couple of months, since he left office and came back from his failed Georgetown University gig. Hah, you know this isn't even true. This lame behavior has been the trademark of former Colombian president Alvaro Uribe Vélez since he was campaigning for president for the first time.

That's not true, either. This erratic, aggressive and mean behavior has been Uribe's trademark for his entire life. At the beginning, he had the youth, then he got the power. Now that he's an ex president, he really looks pathetic and lame when he attempts with a strange and out of order furor to defend his presidency and his former aides from all the attacks, political and judicial, received in the last couple of months.
Taking the novelty of his Twitter account aside (which he couldn't understand how to handle at the beginning, witness the gaffe of trying to issue a lengthy press release this way), Uribe has incurred in so many contradictions, the biggest of them all was to claim there was no possibility of a fair trial for his former aides regarding the colossal wiretapping scandal that marked the end of his presidency.

In fact, it was a multi-gaffe. First, he uttered this whopper outside Colombia, something he vehemently condemned when his political adversaries did the very same thing during his tenure. Second, after tirelessly insisting in how things worked out in his presidency, now that every Colombian could travel across the country without the fear of being kidnapped, and how the overall security substantially improved, it was a curious paradox how things were different a mere few months after his appointed successor, Juan Manuel Santos, took the oath as the new Colombian president. Well, it is not a secret that his heir apparent, Andrés Felipe Arias, couldn't make it past the primaries. Otherwise, things could have been really different (and to his satisfaction). And third: he's right. There's no reasonable way to figure there could be a fair trial, because his former employees waged a war against the judiciary, the first and foremost victim of the wiretapping scandal. That means they brought all this unto themselves (Maybe it was intended as such, since victims cannot judge the offenders).

And now, Uribe faces the inconvenience of Wikileaks. The leaked Department of States cables are beginning to produce a steady embarrassment to him. For starters, his no-nonsense, no-concessions approach to the war against the guerillas has been shattered: it was revealed he was looking for secret peace talks. Besides, everybody knows Hugo Chávez, the Venezuelan president is an authoritarian, not a democrat. But it sounds kind of awkward when Uribe, according to the cables, uses a very non-diplomatic language to assert that Chávez is a Hitler and the Venezuelan situation is akin to the Third Reich Germany. Like Uribe himself were the madman.

And now, Yidis Medina, a congresswoman found guilty of receiving bribes to vote the constitutional reform that allowed Uribe's re-election, says in her tell-all book, that the president begged her for her definitive vote... down in his knees in a rest room.

That does it, he's completely bat-guano insane.
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